Matthew turns 2!

Our sweet Matthew turned 2 and I really can't believe it! 

His birthday fell during a trip to Virginia for a family reunion, however Mama couldn't make the trip due to travel restriction. 

Matthew had a great celebration with his cousins and the entire Dean family!



Andrew & Bryson celebrating with Matthew!

Matthew's adorable birthday cake!



Cousin Andrew helping with presents!

 

It's hard to believe Matthew is 2, and in a few more weeks he will become a big brother.  He's grown up so much and becoming such a little boy, although he will always be my baby!

36 Weeks - let's see how far we make it!

Yep there he is in all his glory, my Butterbean # 2 belly at 36 weeks!  Please ignore the self taken photo.  I've done a horrible job taking belly pics this go around.  I guess when you're running after a toddler you just forget.  But I thought since this is the exact day when I was pregnant with Matthew that my water broke, I should at least get one belly shot. 

I had an OB appointment yesterday and the doctor said everything looked fine, so really now it's just a waiting game to see if I make it all the way to July 26th, which is the day of my c-section.  I'm feeling pretty good, other than feeling quite large and of course the heat in Atlanta is brutal right now.  We are making progress on Butterbean # 2's room.  Jason has to move out his desk, but the crib is 90% put together.  Sadly we still haven't agreed on a name yet...  I have one in mind, in the event we don't agree on something by the time we head to the hospital.  I did however pack a bag last weekend, since the last time I literally went to the hospital with only my purse.  I was also thinking that maybe my preparedness would help keep him in a big longer.  Call me superstitious :)

Now it's just a waiting game, so we shall see what happens!

Matthew's first Tropical Trip!

Every year, Jason and I take what I like to call, "get the heck out of Atlanta trip".  It's our annual island vacation to get away from work, laptops and all the hustle and bustle.  This year we decided to head to Aruba with another family, the Jacowitz's, and we would take Matthew for his first tropical vacation.  Brian & Alison have an almost 3 year old son, Alex.  He and Matthew had a ball together!  

It was a great time, the weather was perfect and Matthew had a great time!  However I will say, vacationing with a toddler really isn't a "vacation".  I guess that's what our trip at the end of the month to the Dominican is for :)

Enjoying the Beach!

  Matthew's sweet little feet with Mama's

Sunset dinner at the Lighthouse

Matthew loved, loved, loved going down the water slide.  Thank goodness Daddy would keep taking him!

Matthew & his buddy Alex

Love that Matthew kept his sunglasses on long enough to snap this!

We booked a photographer to take family pictures and I'm so happy we did!

It was such a fun vacation and I know one of many more to come with our little family!

I now understand what it means to be a Mom



For the past couple of weeks, I've really been thinking about what it truly means to be a "mom".

In May 5, 1998, I lost my Mom to a short and horrible battle with leukemia.  Losing my Mom when I was 20, hurt, it hurt really bad.  Although 14 years have passed since we said good-bye, the hurt aches even more, especially now that I'm a mom.  With the pending arrival of Butterbean #2 and watching Matthew grow into such an amazing little boy, I think about all the things I learned from my Mom before we lost her.  But my heart hurts that she had so much more to teach me. 

There are days that I am angry and I wish more than anything that she could be here with us, but I know that's not possible. Other days I find myself mirroring the ways of my Mom and how I wish she could see that I'm becoming her - what an honor.

What I have come to realize is, that while yes becoming a mom myself has taught me what it means to be a mom, unfortunately losing my Mom has opened my eyes and heart to fully understand what it truly means to be a "mom".

You love your children more than you ever thought possible. 

You worry about them night and day.

You only want the absolute best, even if it means sacrificing yourself.

And you always question and second guess every decision you make. 
I miss her more and more each and everyday and I hurt that my sweet Matthew, Butterbean #2 and even Jason never got to meet the amazing Mom that she was.  
While the hurt is great, my heart heals by knowing that she was such a giving, loving, full of life Mom that I can only hope that I become to my boys.  

2 months until he's 2??!!

It dawned on me yesterday that our sweet Matthew will be 2 in only 2 short months.  Really he's going to be 2?  How can this be?  Each day I watch him grow up a little more and I can't believe it.  He's talking up a storm, repeats everything and putting together short sentences.  It is truly amazing.

He's really becoming such a little boy. 

We even decided to move him from his high chair to a booster, which makes him look like such a little man!

Matthew also seems to be going through a phase of not wanting to sit down during his bath, which makes bathtime a bit difficult and a two parent job, so the other night he was having so much fun, so we snapped a few pictures. 

I just love his expression in this picture!

Matthew was trying to copy Jason and blow bubbles in the water, it was too precious to watch!

I remember the emotions as we approached Matthew's first birthday, and I think I'm just as emotional as he turns 2.  I guess it's from watching how much he's grown from 1 to 2 or that time is flying by so fast.  Either way my sweet little boy is getting bigger each day, and this Mama is in denial!