"I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13

You may be wondering why the title of this post, but our journey to parenthood has been currently postponed - at least that's how I'm looking at it, just a bump in our road....

Yesterday during my 12 week appointment, sadly I learned I had miscarried. So far I had been feeling well, so honestly hadn't suspected anything to be wrong. During the appointment, the nurse and my doctor tried to hear the baby's heartbeat with the handheld doppler, but didn't have any luck. We thought at first this was due to my uterus being "retroverted", meaning it tilts backwards. So the plan was to have a quick ultrasound, so I could leave the appointment having heard the heartbeat. At that point of my appointment, there was no reason to suspect anything was wrong. Just that the baby was sitting further back so harder to hear.

As I was having the ultrasound, I guess you could say it was my "mother's intuition", but I could tell that something wasn't right. The sweet woman doing my ultrasound wasn't saying much and by the questions she was asking me, I knew the outcome wasn't going to be good. She finally turned to me, showed me the screen and delivered the bad news - there was no heartbeat. It was pretty hard news to take, after having 2 previous ultrasounds with such a strong heartbeats, but my doctor explained that it was more than likely a chromosomal issue that happened at conception and I would have miscarried on my own eventually.

Jason and I realize that this has happened for a reason and we are extremely lucky to have gotten pregnant so quickly - sadly many couples aren't even that lucky. We also take comfort in knowing it is God's way of helping us grow stronger as a couple and even better parents.

Thank you for all the prayers, phone calls, and emails. While it has been an emotional couple of days, I've taken comfort that our first Butterbean is now in Heaven with my parents, taking a piece of Jason and I to heaven.

I'm signing off the blog for a bit, since I started this to journal my pregnancy. We will see what the future holds, hopefully I'll be back soon!